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Pain...

These are things I wish I knew in my teens or 20s, things I feel today at 48 years old would have positively impacted my state of mind and the course of my life. 

My body has been in a lot of pain for the last long while now. Anywhere someone would touch, even to give a simple hug, it would hurt. I couldn't understand what was going on. In a very cognitive way I thought I was happy and that all was well. My work is going well. My relationships are strong. 

But, after my surgery in 2018, I have learned and I understand completely that the body manifests energy in a way that matches your subconscious thought NOT conscious thought. I have not been able to figure out what I was holding on to that my body was manifesting as pain.  On Friday, I finally got an opportunity to meet my rock star of a yoga teacher, Sheetal, after 3 years.  Lockdown and my time in USA married with her family responsibilities, upon my return, had not allowed for us to meet sooner.

She could see the pain in my neck, my shoulders, my legs and my back.  She explained a concept call Vaata Vaya.  Have you ever heard of it before? She explained that negative thoughts, hurt filled thoughts, anger related thoughts, frustration related thoughts, stressful thoughts, thoughts related to fear of the future, how something will or will not work out, thoughts about why did she do that or what made him say that and so on, all release gas or vaya  in the body.  This gas gets trapped into the muscles of our body and if not released regularly manifests as pain over time. 

She showed me 7 morning stretches and 2 stretches I need to do 2 to 3 times a day to begin to release the built up vaya from my muscles.  It takes no more than 15 minutes. Saturday and Sunday have been massively full of pain and tears as I dedicatedly did these stretches.  Releasing the vaya has also come with a release of emotions, I was completely oblivious I was holding on to. It's not important to understand the emotion you are releasing, a lot of them are old emotions your new evolved self won't even understand, what's important is letting it out of your muscles, so your body won't manifest it into an illness or pain.

In just 3 days I am breathing better, sitting better and moving more easily. I have a long way to go and consistency is going to be key, another thing I struggle with, but as I begin my Monday I am hopeful for the positive changes and growth the week ahead will bring.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey of life. Every one of us is struggling with something. It is okay to let someone know you are hurting or confused or need help.  It is okay to own the pain and it is brave to work on releasing it. 

I'm not sure what I have ahead of me, but I pray I will move through it all with love, grace, faith and patience. 

I Love you All!

You Got This and What You Don't Have, We Will Get Through Together!

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